completely drowning
August 1, 2009
Thursday April 16, 09 8:09 am
Really, I can’t do much lately that DOESN’T drain me.
Or kill me.
(My first thought waking up is how much I can’t wait to get back home and go to bed.)
I feel like I’m floating aimlessly at the bottom of a 10-ft deep pool.
Struggling for air but not wanting it enough to genuinely care.
Even if completely drowning is a very real possibility.
Which it is.
I need to create to survive. Life has the unbelievable ability to suck itself from you, drain you, crush you, numb you. Sometimes it's hard to remember the pretty things, because it's all moving too fast too much of the time. I stop, I photograph, I write, I remember. Sometimes this prevents me from actually living in the moment and encourages my permanent residency in the past - but it's the only way I've found to capture, to remember, to make it all worthwhile.